My name is Michael and I developed this website to try and help anyone suffering from depression and suicidal ideation.
I have suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as i can remember. I took an overdose at age 19 after my girlfriend at the time had left me. I slit my wrist at age 23 during an argument with another girlfriend where i flippantly threatened to slit my wrist, she said “you wouldn’t dare”. so i did.
Although there was a lot of blood i didn’t realise there was a right way to do it and fortunately my tendons prevented a fatality.
At the age of 46 i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
I struggled with suicidal thoughts regularly for the next 5 years before finding myself learning to tie a noose, planning to hang myself from the trees in my back garden.
I just wanted the mental torture to end. I loathed myself and my life.
I was planning to leave this place one evening and felt relieved that i would finally get some peace.
Then a miracle happened and i was thrown a lifeline which i grabbed with both hands.
After a complete lifestyle change over the next 2 yrs.
l have faced my dark side and embraced it and learned from it. And although it has ultimately ended in the breakdown of my 27yr marriage i love life and have come to love myself.
‘You have to be in darkness to be able to see the light’ and one doesn’t exist without the other.
I have a thirst for life now and although i still find myself being challenged by my emotions and triggers i am very aware and conscious to the fact that i am just being tested and i love working myself out and dealing with people and life’s challenges in ways i never thought possible.
I am positive about my future and since getting over my fear of heights over the past 2 years i love any opportunity to go climbing with my new friends.
I do a daily routine of fasting, eating healthily , exercise and breathing techniques to keep myself positive.
Life is so worth living even though i do feel alone i am happy in my own company and have peace of mind which i have never experienced before.
The videos on the site are based on information that has helped me on my journey of self discovery.
I do hope they will help someone to realise their life is also worth living and that
‘You Are Not Alone’
It is very important to regiment yourself into a daily routine and to practice breathing techniques and meditation as they are essential tools to pull yourself out of the darkness should you find yourself in that space where ‘You Are Alone’ and only you can save yourself.
I believe we have all suffered some form of Trauma at some point in our childhood and the system we life in is designed to traumatise so we must start to figure ourselves out and face our demons so we can start to heal ourselves.